Family Dinners And The Impact They Have On Our Lives
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Over the last three decades, family dinners (What wine goes well with dinner?), conversations and family time together has declined by more than 30%. Delayed marriages, delayed childbirths, the increase in working women’s population and the ageing, has altered family life.
Fathers are increasing the time kids stay in childcare and mothers are always ‘rushed’ or ‘multitasking’ more often than not. Working couples are forced to reduce time spent with each other, let alone their children. Families with kids under 18 years are reported to have family dinners three to four times a week. Only one-fourth families eat seven or more family meals together in a week.
What do we mean by family time? What does a family meal typically consist of? Why should we be bothered by the declining quality and quantity of time spent together as a family?
A family or a home, is made up of different members of varying ages. Adults-parents in this context, with their busy schedules often find themselves with barely any time to bond with their children. Unless the kids are under the ages of 5 or 6, in which case they require proper attention devoted to them. Sitting down together to share a meal creates a safe space for parents and children to connect with each other with no distractions.
Encourage your family to sit down at least for 3 meals, if not more each week.
This is good for several reasons.
Benefits Of Family Dinners
Healthy Nutrition
Families who spend time eating together experience healthier diets and food behaviors. Children aged nine to fourteen, when having meals with their family tend to include more protein, fruits and vegetables. They are also 35% less likely to have eating disorders in the future.
Improved Academic Performance
Teenagers who have frequent family meals are more likely to perform optimally at studies. They hear new words, phrases and indulge in long conversations that improve their conversing and social skills. Sharing interesting details about one’s day helps in jogging memories and enhances narrative capacity.
Helps Set Structure For The Day
Starting the day with a family breakfast, even if it’s a quick one, helps set the tone for children to begin their day. The start to their day can be positive or negative depending on the mood of the parents at the breakfast table that morning. Listening to positive talk and affirmations allow kids to feel secure and less anxious.
Allows For Parental Supervision
Family meals together allows parents to observe their children’s general behaviors thus providing an insight into their personalities and interests. Just by observing your kid’s way of eating that particular meal, you can make out their current mood. It also gives them a chance to speak of anything they might be having difficulty with.
Less High-Risk Behavior
Children who dine with their families are often found to be less involved in substance, drug abuse and be more emotionally stable. Teens with stronger family ties at home were also less likely to indulge in sexual activity and experience depression.
How To Develop A Good ‘Family Dinner' Routine Together
Mealtime can be seen as an opportunity or as a chore. If it is seen as an opportunity, the possibilities are endless. Try to determine what you are expecting from your family time.
Expectations may differ from family to family. If your kids are younger, practicing good table manners maybe the goal of having a meal together. For more grown kids, communicating with each other maybe the outcome you're looking for.
Teach By Example
Kids emulate what they see. It is therefore very important that during your meal time as a family, you showcase the behavior that you want your kids to absorb. An example would be helping out mom in the kitchen or assisting dad to set the table.
Seating Arrangement
Gone are the days when the patriarch of the family would sit at the head of the table. For the change, let your kids pick where they would like to sit.
Listening Is Key
Listening here is not limited to the words said by your kids. It also means to observe nonverbal cues in your child's behavior while they eat and engage in talk. Give them time to think out what they want to say and don't rush them to finish what is on their plate and what is on their mind. It is best to start off with your own concise version of daily events to encourage them to do the same.
Make eye contact when you are being spoken to. Ban electronic devices from the dining table at all costs. Let mealtime be only about the people around you.
Avoid Conflict
Try to avoid topics that may upset a family member or shut them down. This will affect their appetite as well as the feeling they associate with dining with family.
I was guilty of feeding my kids (all under the age of 5) before our dinner time so that I could have a meal in peace with my husband. But very soon I realized I was robbing my kids and their dad the bonding experience of this family dynamic. So, now we sit down every night and have a crazy fun dinner where there is a lot of talking and some eating! But oh well!
